and...

i got laid off. Sweet start to 2009.

The Hate Continues

via Andrew Sullivan's Daily Dish

Quite literally changing the game.

Presidential candidate is the first to buy ad space inside a video game.

My Daily Reminders for the Office

• When saying words that end in 'ing' ... say the 'g.'
• When listening to hip-hop, always use the headphones.
• Don't look angry, even when you're fuckin' angry.
• When greeting clients, don't say "wuddup?"
• When greeting clients, don't say "howdy!" either. There's no need to compensate.
• Don't allow Black panhandlers to guilt you into giving them money because you're walking with your white coworkers. Give them money because you want to... or don't.
• You've gone this far without playing drinking games. Don't start now.
• You are in no way inferior because you didn't travel to Europe before, during or immediately after college.
• Save the CB4, Fear of a Black Hat, Major Payne, Last Dragon, Dolemite, Malcom X, School Daze and Hollywood Shuffle references for another time. They won't get them. Even if you find the clip on YouTube and e-mail it to them.

The real measure of success

If any marketing folks out there come across this post, please chime in.

This comes from a client presentation I was party to a couple of months ago.

(This also comes from my notebook of posts I was planning to make this past summer.)

You work for "Company A" making widgets.

You are in competition against Companies B, C & D.

Is it a common measure of your brand's success and reputation in the marketplace by comparing the percentage of buyers that are "Caucasian" for each of the four brands?

So if 75% of Brand C's buyers are Caucasian and 50% of Brand A's buyers are Caucasian, Brand C is the stronger brand.

Is that normal?

I'm not your damn 'Bro.'

"Don't mean to be a dick, but you can stop calling me bro."

While in the checkout line....

Ketchup

Franklin had a hectic summer...

Franklin almost got his ass fired.
Franklin has been doin' a lot of stuff for other people, while neglecting his own shat.
Franklin is tired of family drama.
Franklin needs to make more ads.
Franklin can't decide what's worse. Committees or focus groups.
Franklin wants to vomit every time he sees a Liberty Mutual Crash rip-off TV spot.
Franklin learned how seriously white people take slow pitch softball.
Franklin only watched two movies this summer.
Franklin really hates revisions.
Franklin loves swag.
Franklin was reminded how helpful golf is professionally.
Franklin spent a good month not giving a shat about shat.
Franklin has overdosed on politics.
Franklin was seriously tempted to pull ye olde race card, but chose otherwise.
Franklin learned that ideas are not as important as PowerPoints.

And most importantly...

Franklin is still the black guy in the office.


Sorry for the absence.

Diversity Initiative

We now have 2 redheads in the office.

You Gets No Love From Me

As I shared a few weeks ago, I make sure to speak to all of the staff in our building. I also make a special point to acknowledge and speak to my elders, as I was raised.

Well, my coworkers often see me speaking to the building staff, usually when we are walking to or from our overpriced, unsatisfying lunch.

Over the course of the past few weeks, I guess my coworkers have been doing the same. (I'd like to think they're taking a cue from me.)

Funny thing is, the same woman from my previous post won't respond back to them.

According to them, when they pass her by - in the hallway or lobby - she doesn't say anything back or acknowledge them.

"I don't think she likes white people."

Could be.

24/7 Bullshhhhhh

Don't be surprised once we get to October and November if Fux News runs a banner saying, "Dammit America, He's Black. Wake The Fuck Up!"

Don't Disappoint

Fly or Die sucked it up.

In Search Of... is easily in my top 10 (just above AMG's B*tch Betta Have My Money - the song titles alone make that album a classic)



June 10th I plan on buying this and playing it loudly in the office.

Don't let me down P.

Get Axelrod on the phone.

Initially, I was thinking Jim Webb would be a solid choice for Veep. That is, if Hill declines the inevitable push from the party to take it.

But the homie No Joke figured out exactly how to get over that damn Appalachian hump.



from no joke jones

Wisdom from our elders

I've been trained since I was a youngin' to speak to my elders. Usually, I acknowledge the folks around the building and neighborhood with a friendly, "How you doin' today?"

There's a sista on the cleaning staff that I've seen everyday since I've been here. And everyday, I nod my head and offer a simple, "How you doin' today?"

"Just fine young man," she usually responds.

I usually see her in the lobby, every morning reading the newspaper.

Last week, we walked pass each other on my floor and she stopped me.

"You work on this floor?" she asked.

"Yes ma'am."

Then she whispered, "You the first black person I've ever seen on this floor!"

A couple days later, I passed her in into the lobby while she was reading the paper, as usual. And she called me over.

"Are you the only black person that works there?"

"Yes ma'am," I replied.

"Are they racist?"

"Well they hired me," I replied.

"Umm-hmm," she replied, adding, "I don't know if I can work someplace like that. I like it when it's mixed up with everybody, ya know."



I do too.

WORD THE F*CK UP.

For Pop

I caught this a while ago at AdRants and forgot to post it.

Great Work.

Did whatsisname get that to you?

I've spent the past 2 months trying to get my coworkers to say "deez nuts," regularly.

My plans have worked.

Now I can get back to blogging.

The past ain't that long ago

<

Mega Millions

A couple of weeks ago we had our local Addy show. Afterwards, a few of my coworkers and I, as well as some other show attendees, ventured to a nearby bar to get even more f*cked up.

So we’re standing around bullsh*ttin’ and a reasonably well-dressed man, a brotha, approached us and singled me out. Just as at the job, I’m the chip on the cookie.

“Brotha, brotha, I see you’re having a good time,” he humbly says.

“Blah blah, whuddup,” or something, I said in return.

“Brotha, I see you’re doing well for yourself. Help a brother out so I can get something to eat.”

“What?!?!,” an inebriated Franklin retorts.

Well-dressed vagrant, sensing my ever-increasing, alcohol-induced indignation, takes a step back and looks at my cohorts.

Standing next to me, among the rest of my colleagues, is, let’s call her, Becky. Becky is a white woman. Becky is my coworker.

Well-dressed vagrant moves back in.

“Brotha, I just wanna get home.”

“Wanna get home?,” an uncharacteristically bold Franklin asks. “I thought yo’ ass was hungry. Which one is it? You want something to eat or you wanna go home?”

“I just wanna go home,” he says. Then, turning his look of despair to a look of sheer joy, he looks at Becky, then back to me he tries a different tact.

“Look at you brotha!!! You hit the lottery!!!," gesturing to Becky, "You gotta be doin’ real good to get up on that, knowhati’msayin’!!! You hit the lottery!!!”



I gave him two dollars.



And, as Becky put it, I soooo haven't won the lottery.

For Headaches THIS Big

When I first thought about starting this blog, back in the day, I was reminded of this sketch from Saturday Night Live.